Fighting it out for ITV3 

8 April 2004

ITV3 lined up for September debut

In the swirling mists of the past there Granada and BSkyB and they had a gangcalled GSkyB. And it did have TV channels called Plus and Men & Motors from Granada’s shed in Manchester.

Then Granada took its ball and went off to play with its new best mate Carlton. And they called their new gang ITV plc.

But ITV plc didn’t know what to with Plus. It wanted to give it a new name. Something catchy like ITV3 cos ITV’s sworn enemies were the big BBC gang, and they already had a BBC Three and a BBC Four. And ITV was jealous.

Sky still liked ITV and wanted to share with it the big pile of gold that was hidden in the Plus shed, which was its illegitimacy gains from making people pay to watch it. And so it told ITV that it wanted to play too.

So ITV had a cob on, a threatened to throw its ball away, saying "yarr boo sucks" and telling Sky it might let people watch ITV3 for free!

And the viewers rejoiced, hoping it would happen as then Cracker and Cold Feet could be watched for free. And all would be happy.

A Transdiffusion Presentation

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Andrew Bowden Contact More by me

A member of the Transdiffusion Broadcasting System
Liverpool, Thursday 19 May 2022