Pleasing the Daily Mail

Media Guardian: Dacre attacks BBC 'cultural Marxism'

Following on from Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre's attack on the BBC, rumours are that the corporation are acting swiftly and look set to announce a raft of programming aimed at keeping "conservative" viewers (well, okay, the Daily Mail) on board and on track.

According to memo leaked to our crack team of Transdiffusion reporters, the new schedule looks set to include the following:

Fox Hunting File - the weeks blood sports in review

Love Thy Neighbour - the hit 1970s sitcom gets a hilarious remake when the illegal immigrant Reynolds family move back in next door...

It's Political Correctness Gone Mad! Nicky Campbell and Lorne Spice on the latest lunatic decisions from across the UK

Abu Hamza: The Opera - as part of the BBC's "Well they claimed that we'd never offend Muslims" season, this new play comes hot to the TV screens following its award winning two day run at the Knotsbridge Arts Centre. Followed by "Mohamed and Me" - new cartoon fun with the prophet!

Single mothers - new documentary series where Kate Silverton goes undercover to meet the teenagers who get pregnant just to get a council flat.

Panorama special: How Illegal Immigrants Are Stealing Your Jobs - Jeremy Vine investigates.

The Omar of Dudley - new comedy. There's outrage with the church of St Barnaby the Bear when a new Omar comes to town.

Family Values Hunt - the team trawl through the divorce courts for single mums to lampoon.

String 'em Up - the court is in session and viewers can press the red button to decide which left wing liberals get hanged, and which are spared. Tonight's liberals include Andrew Gilligan.

Diananight - a daily update on the latest news relating to Diana, Princess of Wales. (More for the Daily Express readers really, showing just how out of touch the lefty-commie-scum of the BBC management are)

Foreigners do the Funniest Things - hidden camera fun as attempts are made to remove three failed asylum seekers from the country.

Bill O'Reilly Interviews? George Bush - probing interview with the glorious leader of the free world. All hail his infallible majesty.

All that, wrapped up with the wholesome, balanced reporting of Fox News broadcast overnight. Sounds great!

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