ITV is losing two useless items, one very quickly, one after a long, painful demise.

Some terrible rubbish that ITV had cluelessly thought would steal Saturday nights has bit the dust after one outing, having picked up 1.7million comatose or otherwise immobile viewers.

It's odd that ITV, so very very short-term in all its thinking, should have chosen to make "It's Now or Never". The very idea is, like, so last year. And the viewers stayed away in droves - ironically to watch Auntie's worst programme of the week, the tax-on-idiocy Lotto-driven Jetset (or whatever bullcrap was in its place last week). Even more amusing - although not for ITV, obviously - was Carry On Henry on BBC-2, managing to tie for viewers with the dying commercial channel.

It appears viewers would rather watch - literally - any old rubbish (or, any old rubbish) than put up with ITV's output. And who could blame them.

And, speaking of any old rubbish, so farewell then (probably) to Charles Allen, the former Granada (catering) guy who manfully took the helm after investors said they wouldn't trust Michael Green to pilot ITV (fair enough) and who, promptly, and with the great skill that comes from running motorway service stations, ran the new ITV plc... straight on to rocks, scuppering the poor old leaky boat.

When Mr Allen does go, I for one will wish him a fond goodbye... and the horse he rode in on.